Q: (From Chen)

I really resonated with your last email: “Transcending the self-improvement obsession." Seeing everyone’s end-of-year accomplishment posts or new-year's-resolutions posts on social media makes me feel small. I liked your different way of thinking about self-improvement. However, I do wonder, when measuring progress in life, is it purely between God and me, or do people around me play a role as well? Am I turning to God to escape the difficult requirement of improving?

A:  (From Brandon)

Thanks for this Chen! I resonate with your struggle! There seems to be a paradox at play that I cannot resolve into a tidy system: I don’t have to improve because God already loves me and has made me completely right with him. There is nothing left to be done. AND YET I feel a great pressure to become a better person. Everyone I admire is working on becoming a better person, shouldn't I be doing the same?

Perhaps I can help by introducing a touch of theological language—I promise to not get too technical! In my tradition we talk about “two kinds of righteousness:” civil righteousness and spiritual righteousness. In plain words we mean that there are two different ways to answer the question, “what makes me good?”

First, with respect to my fellow humans, what makes me good is my behavior (civil righteousness). I’m a better or worse person based on obvious things like, humility, fairness, kindness, etc. And in this sphere of life I have the power to improve myself. Through effort and practice I can grow in virtue and be a better citizen of the world. (Of course, my ability to change myself is severely limited, as Peter noted above, and a healthier awareness of the limitations on our willpower would breed a lot more compassion in the world!)

Second, with respect to God, what makes me good is Jesus (spiritual righteousness). My personal progress in virtue makes no difference to God. My humility, fairness, kindness, etc. does nothing to earn me special status with him. As the Apostle Paul reminds us, if we ask God to look at our behavior, then “there is no one righteous, not even one.” But here’s the good news, God doesn’t look at our behavior! He doesn’t ask, “What have you done?” Instead he encourages us to look at what he has done for us. “The righteousness of God is through faith in Jesus Christ!” (Romans 3).

So with respect to God, no progress is required of us in any way! God loves you, God is bringing you to live with him forever, God has given you the rights and privileges of being his very own child. All simply because he wanted to. Which means that whatever self-improvement you want to do in this life is purely a gift to you and your neighbor. You don't have to improve, you get to! And it will bring a lot of benefit to you and everyone else if you do. It's kinda like the difference between having to read a book while in school, and then getting to read any book you want when you’re an adult.

Now, it’s true, in the narrower sense, like at your job or in your community, there is a kind of requirement to improve. Say, if you want to get that next promotion or to be respected. But those requirements are secondary, and frankly, will be a lot easier to accomplish when the eternal pressure is off.

I hope that’s helpful!

Also, here’s a link to a nice article diving a bit deeper into this topic