I once watched a contortionist twist herself into an impossible pretzel shape. It was… painful. I mean painful to watch, I assume she was fine, but… yikes!

Maybe it was painful to watch because I can relate. My spiritual life often feels like I’m all twisted up into painful shapes trying to prove my worth to God. I call it “pursuing holiness” or “working on my sanctification,” but really, I’m a spiritual contortionist performing for an audience that isn't even asking for the show.

The Gospel says I don’t need to perform. I don’t need to prove my worth. Jesus already loves me!

“But,” someone always protests, “if I stop pursuing spiritual improvement, won't I just become a grace potato!?”

This question haunts us like a theological ghost. The logic seems airtight: remove the pressure of performance and I’ll just give up right? RiGhT!? I mean, I know me. If I don’t have a little bit of fear or threat to motivate me, I won’t do anything. If I actually believed that God loves me and doesn’t require moral improvement then I’ll just sit around and watch movies.

Grace is a rather dangerous thing to swallow!  

But here’s the twist. That part of me that needs a little bit of fear to motivate it, that’s my sin nature. That’s the part that I need to be freed from!

Let me explain what I mean. Threat and fear can work as motivators in the short run. But ultimately, they paralyze us.

Consider how anxiety works. It means I’m obsessed with being prepared for the future. I am so obsessed with making the right decision it paralyzes me and I can’t make any decision. It’s maddening! The more I try to control the outcomes, the more paralyzed I become.

I once spent an entire week preparing for (worrying about) a difficult meeting with a boss. His text had read, “I need to speak with you.” I was sure I’d done something wrong. I went through every possible thing he might be upset about and how I would respond. I lost sleep, I couldn’t eat, I walked around in a haze neglecting my family. Then the meeting happened and he just wanted to know about a project. (Note to self, send a text back saying “Sure thing boss! About what?”).

This is precisely what happens in my spiritual life. The more I fixate on my spiritual performance, the more self-absorbed I become, and the less able to actually love I am. In other words, the more obsessed I am with getting rid of “sins” the more Sinful I become.

Because sin means being all twisted up in knots about my performance. It’s being all twisted in on myself like a pretzel. And performance pretzels don’t need to be afraid of becoming grace potatoes!

Actually, us performance pretzels need help untying ourselves!

So, who’s actually stuck?

It’s us performance pretzels. That’s who. I’m so tied up in knots I can’t move. I’m not free to love. And no carrots or sticks are going to help. They are the problem!

Grace is the cure!

Grace is the cure for the self-defeating obsession with self-improvement.

Grace tosses the whole carrot and stick system out the window. God’s love isn’t a reward for good behavior, it’s a gift to his beloved children. When Jesus says, “I love you! I justify you!” he’s setting me free from the whole knotty performance game.

And then something beautiful happens. I’m untied. I’m free. I can get up off the anxious bench and move! I can love my family and friends without worry or pressure because I don’t have to prove anything!  

So no, grace won't turn you into a grace potato. It will free you from being a performance pretzel. Grace is the antidote, not the poison.

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” - Galatians 5:1