For the last several emails we’ve been considering the paradox of transformation. God has given me eternal life and he is bent on making me new, but now the question is, “how does God actually change me?”

One thing I know, information alone doesn’t change me. Experience of God—his presence, love, and grace—does. Just knowing that God loves me doesn’t change my desires anymore than just knowing that heart surgery exists fixes my heart. I have to actually receive the surgery.

And like a good surgeon, God uses tools or “technologies” to do his work. I like the metaphor of “technology” because it captures the practical–physical–things that God does to me. God doesn’t just give me instructions, he comes to me and does stuff to me. Let me give you a story that illustrates what I mean.  

I know a young woman who had a pretty terrible childhood. Raised as a Christian, her parents were extremely overbearing and controlling. They often used shame to control her behavior. She grew up feeling she could never express an opinion that differed from her parents’. So she learned to hide her true thoughts and feelings.

Naturally she associated this shaming behavior with God. When I met her, even phrases like “Jesus loves you,” sounded horrifying. To me those words were comforting, but she heard her father saying, “I love you” only when she conformed to his strict requirements of thought and behavior.

Understandably then, she had no affection for God.

More information about God hadn’t helped her, but many repeated experiences with non-shaming love did. Through spiritual direction she had regular contact with a person who was willing to listen to her without judgment, and who genuinely wanted to understand her. Over time, she began to imagine that God might be willing to treat her that way too.

God also met her in other ways. Friends hospitably opened their homes to her. She found a great therapist who gave advice without relational requirement. And she was welcomed by a church community which loved her even when she tried to push them away.

God works on our hearts through real, tangible things. He has many “technologies” to move us towards him. What they all have in common is that they are experiences of the real, gracious, loving God. Our desires and affections change through these experiences. My love for someone grows when I have regular contact with them, and they are good!

This is why Signpost Inn is passionate about the incarnate grace of hospitality. We want to create these spaces where people have a real experience of God’s love. We are so grateful that our Signpost Inn Family shares our passion for helping people reconnect with God. Join us in our passion!