I recently wrote a version of this to a friend who, like me, often struggles with fear and anxiety. I thought it would be good to share with all of you as well. (And a note to my friend: I significantly reworked the rambling drivel I sent you, thanks for receiving the rough draft with such grace!)

Thank you for writing, friend! You are most certainly not alone! Everyone I know seems to be getting pummeled by life right now! Uncertainty, financial shortfalls, relational drama and rupture, it seems like Satan is out and about "roaring" a lot recently.

I confess I frequently feel on the edge of a panic attack these days. And I'm not finding much “comfort in God” either. Even this last Sunday in church, a large part of me was just angry at God for not doing anything about all the disharmony and uncertainty in my relationships and the broader world.

The public prayers were especially difficult. I mean, what good is it to pray for harmony and God’s provision for our needs? My bank account is still creeping lower by the day, so-and-so still dislikes me, and don’t get me started about the news cycle! I mean really, what is God actually doing?

Today, however, even as I fight a full-on panic attack, I read Psalm 23 and the last idea stuck with me: "Surely goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life."

Sometimes faith is an act of defiance. A refusal to give in to Satan’s bluster. I do not know how God is at work through all this stuff for my—and all his children’s—good. But honestly I have no idea what is actually good for me anyway! My perspective is too limited. My understanding is so weak. And no one could have ever known that the crucifixion of an innocent man meant forgiveness for the whole world!

So, I'm going to breathe into accepting that God is for me. Even if I can’t understand or see exactly how. I'm going to relax my chest and shoulders and say with my body, "yes, Lord, I am safe and loved. I am your beloved son and you will give me good things" In other words, I'm going to slow down enough to let goodness and faithful love catch me.

Yours,
Brandon