I am a very thought-full person. My stream of consciousness is a steady flow of thoughts, floating with the current like a fleet of boats. I generally enjoy the curious adventure of sitting on the bank and watching my thoughts go by.

But when I experience anxiety, my calm stream of consciousness is suddenly a set of roaring rapids, my thoughts getting thrashed about in the treacherous water! I can’t just sit on the bank! I’m compelled to jump in and try and steer my thoughts to safety!

But I find that trying to lead this fretful fleet of thoughts down the turbulent waters is exhausting and ultimately impossible. I can’t pilot well enough to avoid the eventual crash! But what else am I supposed to do!? I’m all alone and surely I’ll perish if I let the roaring waters flood my mind!

Man, anxiety sucks!

Okay, so here’s the part where Jesus comes in and everything is fine, right? Jesus has got the solution for my anxiety, right?

Well, if you’re anything like me, sometimes knowing that I can “cast my burdens unto Jesus” just makes me feel worse! I think, “Oh great! If only I was smarter, more aware, or better at focusing on Jesus, I could fix this anxiety!”

In light of this, I do actually find contemplative prayer helpful because it is not another solution for me to try, it’s a reminder that I don’t need to solve anything. It is first and foremost a relaxing of my attention, taking a step back, sitting on the bank and noticing that I am not alone. It broadens my perspective from the raging river to see that Jesus is right beside me, bearing my burdens with me.

Jesus’ presence is permission to not fix my anxiety, and paradoxically, consenting to this reality often makes me feel a little better. Here is Jesus, my God and my friend, sitting with me in my anxiety, and he is noticeably not worried. My fear has a chance to slowly ebb away in his calm and caring companionship

Friend, you and I will almost certainly continue to experience anxious times as we live in this broken world. One day though, we will sit with Jesus at the banquet table in eternal peace! But for now, may we sit with Jesus on the bank, knowing in our souls that we are safe with him. Amen.