The pink candle means it’s Gaudete (”Gow-dāy-tay” - Latin for rejoice) Sunday! In church this week the introit (the bit sung between the readings) comes from Philipians 4: “Rejoice in the Lord always!”

Is it bad that I don’t feel happy today? Do I have to? Does everyone else rejoice when they’re told to? Am I a bad Christian?

But the rest of the introit tells me that, feelings or no feelings, the Lord is close to me. He’s ready to hear what I want and need. He can handle me saying, “I don’t feel like being happy.”

In fact, I might try that right now. Lord, my back hurts. I’m afraid I can’t make my family happy, especially as Christmas is coming up. I have a lot to do, and sometimes the Advent wreath just reminds me that I’m running out of time. How can I rejoice?

So, here’s what I want, since you asked: I’d like to feel calm. I’d like to slow my racing thoughts to see how you really are handling everything for me. Please care for my family, and give us our daily bread. Even if I’m distracted, please be nearby, and don’t be offended by my ignoring you? Wait for me.

I believe the end of the reading: The peace of God, beyond what I can understand, will keep my heart and my mind in Jesus. He’s got me.

Ok, deep breath, “Gaudete!” isn’t a threat. It’s an invitation. Lifting my attention from my bad day to the loving presence of Jesus sets me free to love this time of year, to celebrate something real! Not just winter, family and general goodwill, but the huge reality that God slides into the human world in peace. He’s not here to judge me, but to love me.

Oh God, you’re so good, you’re so near.

Jesus is as real and present as the flame of the pink candle. He sees that my heart is tired and worried, and he rejoices to be near me. Whether or not I have the feels, Gaudete! It’s a rejoicing deeper than happiness, more true and lasting than the pink candle.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7 ESV