“We all are born into the world looking for someone looking for us, and that we remain in this mode of searching for the rest of our lives.” - Curt Thompson 

I have a deep desire to know God. And not just know him, but for him to know me. For him to see me. My heart is touched by passages of scripture where God directly intervenes in someone’s life. John 1:43-51 is one such passage. I want a Nathanael moment! I want a moment when God speaks to me personally! Don’t you? But what I actually relate to is a Nathanael moment. Let me explain.

Nathanael, a disciple-to-be, is skeptical when his friend Philip runs up to him announcing, “We have found him of whom Moses in the Law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” Nathanael’s presumptions prevent him from putting any stock in Philip’s bold proclamation. You can hear the skepticism as Nathanael responds, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”

This is the Nathanael moment that I can relate to. Like my pal Nathanael, I’ve got a locked and loaded sidearm of skepticism, ready to blast away any phony bologna that comes my way. For instance, “This soda is supposedly good for me!? Yeah right! There’s no such thing as a prebiotic anyway.” My wife could share many other examples about how I vocally express my skepticism about the bold claims every commercial tosses out, “In just 30 days you’ll be fitter, happier, healthier, etc…” And don’t get me started on “reality” tv shows! I wonder if any of their reactions are actually real?? 

So yeah, I don’t blame Nathanael for rolling his eyes at Philip. People will say just about anything in order to sell you something. This surely was just another peddler of good news pitching a product that over promises and under delivers, right? 

Can you relate to Nathanael? Like me, do you have areas of supposed certainty in your life which cause you to say, “Yeah, right. Can anything good come from ________?” 

Now our skepticism is usually merited when it concerns other double-minded and self-centered humans, but this mindset also translates over to our relationship with God. Our life experiences have deeply ingrained the lesson that we can’t trust anyone offering a “free lunch”. Everyone’s out for themselves, no one is truly for me. Surely God is the same way, right?

Ironically, our skepticism has made us absolutely certain that there is no such thing as grace, a truly free gift.

It makes sense then, that when Jesus shows up and proclaims the gospel to us, we react with skepticism. We doubt that God is truly for me. “You say you love me, but what’s in it for you? You’re just trying to manipulate me to get what you want.” Or we doubt that God could be for me. “All that good news could never apply to someone like me. God is for those people, not backsliding skeptics like me.” 

Thanks be to God that Jesus responds to our skepticism with patient, persistent love! He doesn’t wait for us to come to him. He doesn’t lecture us. He meets us where we are and simply calls us to “come and see” what he is truly like. 

Jesus sees us skeptics to our core. He sees past the defenses we have built, to our broken hearts that cry out for someone to know us and to love us. Jesus says to Nathanael, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” I’m honestly not sure what that phrase means, but it is obviously something very personal to Nathanael. I wonder if that moment under the fig tree had any connection to Nathanael’s skepticism. Maybe Jesus is saying, “I see you Nathanael, the whole you, even your skepticism.” This is the truth that floored Nathanael. Jesus saw him to his core and still called him, still loved him. 

Jesus’ love takes on a new depth when we comprehend that he really does know us. Jesus is not naively promising his love to us because he assumes the best about us. He knows you. He knows me. Like, the real me. He doesn’t love the ideal version of myself that I wish I was. He loves me, the self-reliant skeptic with anger issues. 

While I don’t live during the time of Jesus’ earthly ministry like Nathanael, Jesus still invites me to “come and see.” Jesus gives himself to me in Communion and promises, “I am for you.” Jesus draws my attention to the cross and says, “I love you enough to suffer and die for you.” He anchors my faith in the reality that, “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Before I was born, before I ever thought of God or turned towards him, Jesus saw me. He invites me to accept this reality and simply let myself be seen by his eyes of love. Then he calls me to follow him as he builds my faith through his patient and persistent love. 

Friend, Jesus sees the real you. Jesus loves the real you. You are found.

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This song spoke to me as I wrote 👇🏼

All I Need - Citizens (Official Lyric Video)