I groaned softly as I woke up to tend to my crying son. “Uggghhh, can’t you let your dad get any sleep!?” But as I rolled out of bed, I caught a glimpse of the alarm clock, it read 6:00am. Wait, that meant that Benjamin actually had let me get sleep, plenty of it in fact. And yet, there I sat, bleary-eyed, only wanting to konk out for another few hours of sleep. I did the responsible thing and cared for my son, but inwardly I was grumpy and made grumpier still because I felt this way after sleeping 7+ hours. 

Boy, I hate feeling grumpy! In these past 3 months of sleep deprived parenthood, I’ve had to grapple with the zombie-jerk I can be when I’m exhausted. It’s not been easy for me to reckon with my limitations and the less-than-gracious ways that I deal with stress and lack of sleep. It’s been easy to think that, “all I need is a good night of sleep and I’ll be as right as rain!” Well, this morning and several others recently have demonstrated that getting a decent night sleep isn’t the promised land I’d hoped for. Turns out I'm a bit more limited than I'd like to believe 

Psalm 121:1-4 has been a great comfort to me in this season. 

I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,

    who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;

    he who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, he who keeps Israel

    will neither slumber nor sleep.

These verses have taken on a new level of significance to me as a tired dad who very much needs to slumber and sleep. It's wild to think that God never needs sleep. Like seriously, talk about almighty!! I may be limited, but God is not! Though I may feel exhausted enough to collapse, God is watching over me, strong as ever. 

God has also spoken to me in these verses about the security I have in his love. His love, his selfless good will towards me, is never clouded by a case of the grumpies or tainted by the weariness of a bad night’s sleep. Everyday he calls me his child and holds me securely in his arms. Even when I’m kicking and screaming and generally resisting his care, he looks down with a smile on his face and loves me still.

And somehow, my own limitations don't quite feel as limiting when I know the constancy of God's limitless love. He even loves zombie-jerk Peter, I guess things are going to be okay. 

Dear friend, whatever limitations you face today, I pray that you may know the tender love of the Father and rest peacefully in his arms, confident that he'll never grow tired of you :)